Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
