there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
