I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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