The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
