Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
