hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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