He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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