I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
