So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
