i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
