porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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