Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
