I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
