it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
