tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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