she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize