Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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