we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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