I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Watching her eat just hurts me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
