Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
