OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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