i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
