i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
