Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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