I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
