I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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