You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
