I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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