Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
