You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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