Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize