We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
