why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
