Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
