By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Randomize
