doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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