Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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