I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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