He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
