This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
