dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
