Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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