Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
