I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
