im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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