Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
