bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
