we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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