I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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