dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
