I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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