honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
