She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
