you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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