no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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