I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize