you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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