what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
