Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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