I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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