Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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