i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
