So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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