i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it's like iHOP with fire
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
