I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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