worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
