When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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