Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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