his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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