I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
