She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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