I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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