thus making me awesome and them whores
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
