i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
